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User blog:Wikidude135/Fanmade ERB: Atticus Finch VS Phoenix Wright
Hello. This is my first fan-made ERB. i hope you enjoy! Epic Rap Battles of History! Atticus Finch! VS! Phoenix Wright! Begin! Finch: The prosecution’s ready. And you should be glad i made it. You’ll be trembling when I'm done, so why don’t you just face it? Your record’s been tarnished since you were in 4th grade. Yes, you have a daughter, but you’ve never been laid. Please, take your stand, cause we’re taking you to jail. I can see the headlines now, ‘Advanced game boy fails’. Now, tell me Mr. Wright, when did you go to court alone? Just quit your work in law and go get yourself a home! Oh, I'm sorry. Too soon, Nick? Well, at least my skills actually make me look quick. I’ve never seen a person with porcupine hair. And is there a real reason for such wild flair? Now, let me see your files. Here’s what I found: ACE ATTORNEY MAKES AN ASS OF SELF WHILE KNOCKED OUT OF TOWN! The law’s on my side. I got the most swagger. You’re only as amazing as a cardboard blue badger. Phoenix: OBJECTION! Shut the fuck up! It’s my turn now! I’ve never lost a case! I’ll beat you like: WA-POW! You’re just a small town lawyer, I’m a big city badass. Living out my days winning, while you lose, third-class. Maybe you would have a chance if you learned a few tricks. Best character in american film? Isn’t that stretching it? My cases got close, but it was more than pure luck. I find you guilty of being the absolute mother of fuck! HOLD IT Mr. Finch! Oh, haven’t you heard? They call me Phoenix because the bird is the word! I’ll whip you like von karma, then i’ll brag and boast. This Dick, not gumshoe, is gonna turn into a grey ghost. My defense is impeccable, no need to discuss this! I may not be Apollo, but i’m still serving justice! I’ll fiddle with your psyche locks, ‘til they snap and break! Jack and Alexandra may believe, but to me, you’re a fake! Let me tell you, you can’t kill THIS bird, don’t even try! I’m the man who proves innocence, and finds the real bad guy. Look at you, i admit there’s not much to see. Except a man who’s dejected from his crushing defeat! I’ll take you little birdie eggs and eat em’ with bacon. I can prove anyone innocent. Just ask Professor Layton. Luke atmey! I’m a Tigre! Sharper than a Hawthorne! After this, Tom Robinson won’t like you anymore. Finch: Your honor, I believe this man is hogging the mic. I’m not even getting a fair chance to fight. (What?!) I think that we’ve heard enough. My ears are in pain. Place him in contempt of rap! Judge: (Slam) Sustained. Finch: Great. Now that that’s settled, i'd like to interject. Allow me to teach little boy blue here some respect. Exhibit A, you got your license taken away. Nothing more you can even do or say. Exhibit B, you're obviously all there is to see. A lying, fake out loser for an attorney. Exhibit C, you're nothing compared to me. Except a poor excuse for a lawyer, with a lucky spree. Exhibit D, you're assistants even all have known. You're nothing but a poor man from a bad home. We can see who will win this, you're raps are too subtle. Come on Wright, let's hear your rebuttal. Phoenix: (No! Now i can’t say anything! How am i going to win now?!.....Wait…...THAT’S IT! I need back-up!) Maya: YO! Maya Fey is in the house! Phoenix: (Please don’t say that again, Maya.) Maya: Mystic Maya here, and she’s going for a whirl! Your ego is giant, Nick’s is smaller than a pearl! Stepping up to a spirit medium? You don’t have the guts! You couldn’t set a watch, man, so kiss my Larry Butz! TAKE THAT, bitch! I’m a super rapping bomba! (Maya….) I could grab you, and then choke you with my magatama! I see spirits telling me to put you back into your place! I’ll shove my sandal up your ass! OOH! Or even better, YOUR FACE! Finch: OW! What is this? Is this even allowed? She’s just a stupid girl who talks to people in the clouds! Phoenix: Shut it, little finch! Now i’m back in the case! Maya: It’s 2 against one, you flappy basketcase! Finch: Fine! I don’t need a second person to beat you! I’m like a one-man army! You’ll feel guilty when i’m through! Phoenix: Go back to your kids! Don’t let them lose another parent! Maya: We’ve got evidence against you, and we ain’t afraid to share it! Finch: It’s time for ‘One-Shot Finch’ to grab his rifle once again! As I scout a way to beat you, just TRY and defend! Phoenix: We don’t try. Maya: We just do. Phoenix: And we don’t fail to expose. Oh, look at that. Court is adjourned. Phoenix and Maya: Case. Closed. WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE! EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY! Who won? Atticus Finch Phoenix Wright & Maya Fey Category:Blog posts